


I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday

by starry_alien



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec just tries to move on, Alternate Universe, Angst, Awkward Date, Fall Out Boy gave me feels, Fluffy Ending, Izzy tries to knock some sense into her big bro, M/M, Magnus isn't okay with that, Post-Break Up, They are all mundanes, They made up don't worry, this is the result
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 23:55:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6775540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starry_alien/pseuds/starry_alien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec walks to the cafe where he is supposed to meet his date. Now thanks to Izzy bringing up those memories he wishes he was making his way right into hell instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> This work is pure fiction inspired by the song "Just one yesterday", so I blame Fall Out Boy for this.
> 
> English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistake you might find.
> 
> I only watched the TVshow and I'm completely obsessed with it, Malec is the highlight of my life.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

"Why are you doing this?" Isabelle asks, she is standing by the door and her arms are crossed over her chest. 

Her whole posture shows how much against this situation she is.

"Because Michael is a nice guy and he asked me out" Alec says as he looks at the mirror one more time, his black clothes embrace his body tightly in a way that makes him feel self-conscious but he shrugs the feeling off and turns to his sister, "why are you acting like that?" 

"Because this that you are doing is to avoid the real matter" she says pointing a finger at him to shut him up as he tries to talk, "you know that’s not the guy you should be going in a date with" 

"I told you to drop that subject, Izzy" he says going to grab his jacket.

"No. I don’t understand Alec, you came out but you keep avoiding him? Why? You have nothing holding you back now" 

"It’s been more than a year, he sure moved on and that’s what I’m trying to do" 

"You know very well that he keeps asking me about you" 

"He shouldn’t"

"Why!? Alec you are being irrational!"

"No Izzy, I’m not! Magnus deserves better than me!" 

"What are you talking about?" 

"I give him everything, alright? Everything but what he really wanted or needed. I kept him a secret. I hided him like he was something to be ashamed of, and I was. I was ashamed to love him to the extent I did. I made him feel loved and cared about and then I broke him, I told him that I couldn’t keep doing it!" 

"Alec-" 

"No Izzy!" Alec snaps, anger irradiating from his voice. He is angry but not at her, it’s at himself, "I remember every day the look on his face, I hurt him and I knew I was doing it. I was being a coward and he.... I don’t deserve him" 

"Alec that's up to him to decide" 

"No... It’d be a mistake-" 

"A mistake? Yes, you hurt him but you still love him, go apologise and mend this!" 

"It’s too late now" Alec says walking past her ignoring her protests as he makes his way to the door. 

-

Alec walks to the cafe where he is supposed to meet Michael. Now thanks to Izzy bringing up those memories he wishes he was making his way right into hell instead. 

-  
Magnus’s pleading voice resonates on his head. 

"Please don’t do this, Alexander"

He cringes and bites his lip hard enough the pain stings. 

"I love you, we can sort this out but please don’t push me away"

He remembers the tears falling down those golden eyes, even with his makeup ruined Magnus looked beautiful. 

"Don’t leave, Alexander"

He could hear Magnus' heart shattering if he tried hard enough, but he pulled away from the smaller man. 

"Goodbye, Alexander"

That’s when Alec felt his heart broke in a thousand pieces, but he deserved it. 

Magnus' cold and hurt voice went right through him like a thousand arrows and he could feel the bleeding falling like tears from his eyes as he made his way back to his own apartment. 

He didn’t see Magnus again after that. 

\- 

"Hey Alec" a voice said the moment he walk into the coffee shop and he smiles faintly ad he made his way to the table where his date is. 

"Hey, am I too late?" he asks softly, his date shakes his head.

"No, I got here just a moment ago" Michael says moving his hand to place it over Alec’s, "are you feeling good tho? You look a bit... off" 

"I’m okay, I had a little... argument with my sister" he says and takes a deep breath to sigh. 

They fall into a small chat after that, Michel clearly tries to cheer him up but Alec isn't feeling this anymore. His eyes drift away just a second looking around the place as his date talks about a not particular interesting subject. 

His breath catches on his chest, suddenly the room blurs and fills with white sound as his eyes lock with a familiar golden pair, a grin spreads over those lips he has kissed more times than he remember and he wished he could do it one more time. He would trade anything, all his coming days just to kiss those lips again like he used to. 

"Alec?" he can hear Michel ask but he can’t look away, "are you okay?" 

He watches as Magnus gets up from his table and walks up to him, he still moves with that grace and elegance reminiscent of a cat, Alec still doesn’t talk or blink or breathe. 

"Alexander" Magnus says once he reaches their table, the way he pronounces his name is like the first time he heard it coming from those lip. It’s like silk sliding over his skin, a caress very much welcomed by Alec’s heart as it quivers in his chest.

"H-h-hi" he stutters looking up at Magnus. 

"Am I interrupting something?" Magnus asks looking at Alec's date in a dismissive way. 

"Who are you?" Michael asks with a confused scowl.

"Excuse me, who are you?" Magnus darts out. 

"I asked you first" Michael asks raising his eyebrows. 

"I asked you second" Magnus retorts with an uninterested expression on his face.

Alec can’t take his eyes away from him, Magnus still looks amazing but of course he does or he wouldn’t be Magnus bane. His outfit is outstanding with vibrant colours, his makeup highlinting his eyes in a breathtaking way. 

"I’m his date" the guy says looking up at Magnus in a challenging way. 

"I’m his ex..." Magnus lets the last word hang in the air, they never label their relationship because Alec never let that happen but they definitely were something. 

"Oh" Michael says turning to look at Alec whose eyes are glued to Magnus form. 

Magnus smiles as he turns to Alec as well. "May I have a word with you?" he asks. 

"Maybe I should just go" Michael says and starts to stand, by the look on Alec’s face he knows this is a battle already lost.

"Maybe you should, this could take a while" 

The guy glares at Magnus eccentricity and looks at Alec again, "bye Alec, see you around" 

"If I make a good job here, no you won’t" Magnus tells Michael who scoffs before he leaves. 

Magnus watches him walk away and then takes his place. "So... are you with me or still in shock?" he asks placing one hand over the other on the table, ready for business. 

"I-I" Alec cant breath still, it’s been too long since he last saw Magnus and its feels like too much, the memories digging into his insides like thorns. 

"Are you glad to see me?" Magnus asks with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. 

"What are doing here?" Alec asks abruptly.

"I was out with Raphael and Simon" Magnus says pointing at his forgotten table, “more like third wheeling if you ask me”

"I mean... at my table"

"Oh... I don’t know, searching for some answers that you owe me maybe" Magnus says casually lifting his hand to call the waitress’ attention.

"I’m sorry-"

"Don’t be” Magnus says and turns to the girl, he orders a tea and when she leaves he looks at Alec again, “I can’t grasp any words that could describe the pain I dealt with, it felt like I was grieving the death of someone that was still alive. Then.... anger, I realised I was angry at myself but at first it was easy to direct it at you, and as time went by the anger turned into numbness... when your sister told me that you came out I was hoping you'd come back to me so I could hurt you the same way you did, but you never came and I was sad… not because I didn’t have a chance to get it back at you but I thought... you never made any promises and I still hoped that my love was enough for you to be brave, you came out and yet I was not enough for you to come back, I guess that hurt even worse" 

They fall silent as the waitress comes with Magnus’ order and leaves; Alec looks at the table as Magnus takes the first sips of his tea.

"You are the reason why I didn’t come back, not because you aren’t enough but you are so much more than I deserve… you are so amazing, great and caring and you were always there for me and I did something horrible to you, I regret it more than anything but I cant... when I look at you now I see the pain, I hear your crying, I see the tears that fell down your face and I can’t, I can’t hurt you again" Alec trains his head on the table because Magnus’ eyes are too much.

“Are you planning to hurt me again?” Magnus asks and takes a sip of his tea when Alec looks up.

“No, I don’t want you to give me the chance”

“And what if I want to give you the chance to love me again, to be with me again” Magnus takes a deep breath and sighs placing his cup on the table again, “my dear Alexander, love and pain come hand in hand, either you like it or not I forgave you for what you did long ago, even if it hurt me I can see that you really regret it... if there is any chance that you still feel something for me, that you still want to be with me… I’m here, you see I don’t think I will ever love someone else the way I love you”

“Love?” Alec asks, the present tense of that word sends shiver down his spine. 

Magnus nods and smiles softly at him, “do you really think I ever stopped loving you?”

“It’s been more than a year” Alec mumbles looking down again.

“In which my longing for you increased with each passing day” Magnus bites his lip nervously before he continues, “so… do you think we could… try again?” 

Alec looks at the table for a long while thinking. He haven’t forgotten about Magnus for a second in all those months, no matter how many times he wanted to call him or meeting him to apologise, to see how he was doing, to ask if Magnus missed him the way Alec missed him. He never did, he waited until Izzy would make comments even if they were never enough.

“I think… I was never able to tell you ‘no’ and the only time I did, it was the biggest mistake of my life” Alec says looking up at Magnus returning the smile that spreads the older man’s lips with one of his own.

“Is that a yes?” Magnus asks as his whole face lights up and it has nothing to do with the glitter on his makeup.

Alec nods as his eyes wet with tears, “I love you, Magnus.”

“My dear Alexander, I love you too”

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, thank you so much for taking your time to reading this!


End file.
